Not in the mood. Don't know why.. just feel sad :( just want to write something here cause i dunno what to do. just feel an empty hollow inside my chest as if a spear just burst into my abdoment and leave an snatched away my feelings. like when i wake up this morning, everything started then. i wake up with the thought of chasing my approaching deadline on 4 o'clock this noon. what else will ruined your mood as hurt as this when the very first thing you think of when when opening your sticky, watery eyes with yeah short amount of sleep, sleepy face, super messy bed hair ive never get before, is your homework. the homework which is still far beyond completeness, and will never be complete by 4. i focused all of my energy on getting out of bed, it is really hard and i took 1 hour of snooze on my alarm before finally waking up. it was already 10 and i rushed to make some oat meal and started to do my model. at least i thought i could make up something by 4 instead of empty-handed in front of the teacher. it is an instant death of course. just imagine you had to present empty-handed in front of ur friends and teacher. it is justt too muchh.. i cant bear it thinking of how much i've embarassed myself infront of them. But this didn't seem to be any problem to just called him awan. This guy is so so something. he never failed to WOW me. because out of everybody out there, nobody beside me know the feeling of being the most stupid foreign student "at the moment". I put emphasis on it, since it is just for temporary. because i've started get a hold of their tail, and soon over their head hahaha.. Better Watch out yeah!! okay let's back to awan, not because of his extraordinary skill or an extravagant design that manage to wow me. but his persistency. we are already in the thirds weeks. fyi my studio program is 1 topics per month. so we keep sending out our idea and make the model every weeks, and listen to the teacher whether we could continue to develop our model or need another extra one. as everybody would assume that we would have done so much thing for the last third weeks. Of course iam not the one that has reached the minimum requirement that the teacher wants each week. since i got it wrong on the second week so i need to repeat it. As for this person, awan, he is so great. he hasn't did any single things for this past 3 weeks. no he did some. but he kept getting it wrong. So in just one week by the final presentation he hasn't even get any single clue on his design. and today, he appeared empty-handed. OMG, i don't know how much pressure he must have gotten. and i know if it would be me, i won't be coming to the class and just give up on this project. i know it is hard. i know you must not clearly understand the topic, the teacher, and everything!! i do know it! because the same very thing also happen to me. but could you at least try to figure it out for urself? youre not back in state anymore. u are alone in this country and u need to support yourself. you need to wrk harder than anybody else, not easier than them. it is just like you are not trying at all. i knowww... because i was exactly like that last semester. i spent my whole homework time on Galauing over my project not doing anything cause i don't know what should i do, and yet, what did i get? just get my time more limited and i still need to finish it because we must. my previous teacher is not as scary as now. but you can't do that. not just because the teacher is kind and you can do all what you want. the teacher is trying his best not to put so much pressure on us. because he do know whats the pain of being an architecture student. hahahaha okay thats all about awan. just wanna to make my heart at ease.. so no offence.
After class, i spotted my bule friend circled by a few taiwanese people. they just errr.. chatting so happily... she's got a friend finally huh... make me feel so sad lol im sorry hahaa.. just when iam trying to get over my loneliness by comparing it to others with also no friend to get stronger, and she's got a friend. hahaha but thats fine.. atleast i also kind of close with her so im fine with it hahaha.. 人說在台灣念書特別不容易 i always heard this sentence coming out from mouth over mouth, included mine. everybody felt that way. it need a lot of efforts and an extra strength to survive in here. and of course, it is hard. incredibly hard. moreover with their lack of english proficiency and ours of chinese hahahaaa. it is just u tried to understand animal's language. yes, i've always tried to be strong. we need to put that mind idle on our mind. not to let it go. so we can stay positive and strong everytime. but.... we don't always need to be strong right? we don't need to be the side that always suffer. we also need a rest, a rest of always trying to put up a strong act. we sometimes, need to put an ease and cry a river, we don't need to hold back. crying doesn't mean you are weak. sometimes, we need a warm shoulder we can lean on, when we don't have the strength to stand alone. we need to escape from all this cruel and fierce reality for a while.So for all of my friends out there, jia you ba.. we can do it derr!! wo men yi ding ke yi de!! bie fang qi!! 放棄不是選擇 !! and ofcourse!! suicide also not an option! so stay out of it okay!! especially to jolie cie and artis furen...
PS: artis furen jangan galau terus kau! u galau sok kali jadinya huhh wkwkwkwkk kek gimana gitu. gue nampak temen gini yah bilangin terus #guemahorangnyabegitu
Ohyeahh.. i almost forget an important part of this day!
CONGRATULATION ON MY GALON TUAPUI FRIEND!!! So happy to hear you achieving scholarship for being the first rank of the class.. SUMPAH ini anak keceh banget.. gila bahh... emaang lah worth it banget.. tiap malam gadang mpe pagi.. sering ga tidur hanya buat pr designnya... and yet! u prove it! that hardworks worth it all... Dan orang taiwan itu tak ada apa apanya.. cuma alien semata wkwkwkwkwk!! once again congrats dehh... keren banget lah gilekss.. rank 1 omoooo... Baek baek deh yahh di jurusan u skrg.. keep up the work!! smoga jadi designer terkenal duehh wkwkwk.
Behind the scene : gue tulis ini karena gue sedikit kesel. wkwkwkwk.. just when i told my roomie.. Danjo that kaem itu ranking satuu...dia balasnya dengan wow wow gitu trus bilang iyah sihh worth it lah dia udah berjuang keras. gigik ga sih ato karena akunya yg lagi sensi, minta di tampar pake tisu basah. otak gue memproses kata" itu dengan perspektif yang 180 derajat berbeda dengan maksudnya si danjo. iyah sih selama ini si danjo itu tau kalo si galon itu asik gila"an buat pr dari ceritanya gue. trus saat dia blg dia worth it banget karena uda berjuang itu rasanya.... something sharp peirced through my heartt... sakit banget rasanya... yah gimana ga sakit... roomate gue, yang tiap hari liat gue streess"an ngerjaain tugas mulu Or he doesnt know idont care but ketika dia bilang si galon berjuang keras banget itu saya rasanya.... terdiam. . . . . . . rasanya seluruh arus dalam tubuh ku itu berhenti sejenak.. gue rasanya tidak berguna banget. gue rasanya bagaikan kacang kering yang semakin mengering dibwah cahaya terang lampu di atas meja. yah kenapa enggak. soalnya saya itu merasa saya udah berjuaang bangett, gila gila an, dan smua itu hanya buat dapat mengejar ketertinggalan saya, hanya buat saya hampir bisa berada di satu garis dengan temen temen kelas. not in da top.. yah juga bukan guenya yg so ambitious, yang bisa gila gila mau buat yg terbgu. yang sebagus"an giaman gitu. yah karena gue juga orangnya ga gila amet yh, ngorbanin kesehatan buat nilai bagus hahahaa... gue sih biasa aja.. malahan puas bahkan karena gue uda ga sebodoh semester kemaren hahahaa... but after all.. ketika mendengar sepatah kata yg dilontarkan danjo tsb, saya merasa tertusuk tusuk wkwkwkwkkwkkwk..
Ohiya ada lagi... just karena itu sigalon mau rayain dia dapat beasiswa gituuu.... jadi dia ajak gue dan si artis furen buat keluar. toh kita juga uda lama ga keluar bareng soalnya masing" tugasnya sibuk tujuh delapan keliling. wkwkwk.. and you know whattt.. ketika kita udah pada siap" untuk keluar, kebetulan kita bertiga sedang kosong malam ini. tiba tibaaa.... eh tiba tiba ckckck si artis tiba tiba bilang dia ga jadi keluar... what?? okelah yah kalo emang ga bisa.. but oh but alsannya itu kalo dia mau nyuci baju.. #tweplak! yaelahh.. tinggalin ato gimana aja kek.. kan pake mesin.. pake acara tar bajunya bau anjing lahh... takut sempaknya dipegang orang lah.. keranjang baju jadi ring basket lah apalah itu.. ngakak ga sih?? enggak yah?? wkwkwkwkk yah mau gimana juga yah.. namanya juga artis yah gitu dehh.. bedaa mahh bedahhh... #artismahorangnyabegitu agak high high gmna gtu.. kek habis nge-bar minum 5 gentong bir trus muntah muntah then fly high up to the sky deh.. jadi bidadari cantik.. hmmm... dan sekarang dia cuma read terus chat gue.. okay finee... bakat artis makin muncul udah kalo lagi galau.. oke fineee #artismahbegituorangnya wwkwkwkwkwkwkk #nooffenceyah artis.. jangan karena w tulis gini, u gugat w pake 10 pengacara bilang pencemaran nama baik gimana gitu.. tar gue kan jadi terkenal.. gimana dong lol oke BAY!
After class, i spotted my bule friend circled by a few taiwanese people. they just errr.. chatting so happily... she's got a friend finally huh... make me feel so sad lol im sorry hahaa.. just when iam trying to get over my loneliness by comparing it to others with also no friend to get stronger, and she's got a friend. hahaha but thats fine.. atleast i also kind of close with her so im fine with it hahaha.. 人說在台灣念書特別不容易 i always heard this sentence coming out from mouth over mouth, included mine. everybody felt that way. it need a lot of efforts and an extra strength to survive in here. and of course, it is hard. incredibly hard. moreover with their lack of english proficiency and ours of chinese hahahaaa. it is just u tried to understand animal's language. yes, i've always tried to be strong. we need to put that mind idle on our mind. not to let it go. so we can stay positive and strong everytime. but.... we don't always need to be strong right? we don't need to be the side that always suffer. we also need a rest, a rest of always trying to put up a strong act. we sometimes, need to put an ease and cry a river, we don't need to hold back. crying doesn't mean you are weak. sometimes, we need a warm shoulder we can lean on, when we don't have the strength to stand alone. we need to escape from all this cruel and fierce reality for a while.So for all of my friends out there, jia you ba.. we can do it derr!! wo men yi ding ke yi de!! bie fang qi!! 放棄不是選擇 !! and ofcourse!! suicide also not an option! so stay out of it okay!! especially to jolie cie and artis furen...
PS: artis furen jangan galau terus kau! u galau sok kali jadinya huhh wkwkwkwkk kek gimana gitu. gue nampak temen gini yah bilangin terus #guemahorangnyabegitu
Ohyeahh.. i almost forget an important part of this day!
CONGRATULATION ON MY GALON TUAPUI FRIEND!!! So happy to hear you achieving scholarship for being the first rank of the class.. SUMPAH ini anak keceh banget.. gila bahh... emaang lah worth it banget.. tiap malam gadang mpe pagi.. sering ga tidur hanya buat pr designnya... and yet! u prove it! that hardworks worth it all... Dan orang taiwan itu tak ada apa apanya.. cuma alien semata wkwkwkwkwk!! once again congrats dehh... keren banget lah gilekss.. rank 1 omoooo... Baek baek deh yahh di jurusan u skrg.. keep up the work!! smoga jadi designer terkenal duehh wkwkwk.
Behind the scene : gue tulis ini karena gue sedikit kesel. wkwkwkwk.. just when i told my roomie.. Danjo that kaem itu ranking satuu...dia balasnya dengan wow wow gitu trus bilang iyah sihh worth it lah dia udah berjuang keras. gigik ga sih ato karena akunya yg lagi sensi, minta di tampar pake tisu basah. otak gue memproses kata" itu dengan perspektif yang 180 derajat berbeda dengan maksudnya si danjo. iyah sih selama ini si danjo itu tau kalo si galon itu asik gila"an buat pr dari ceritanya gue. trus saat dia blg dia worth it banget karena uda berjuang itu rasanya.... something sharp peirced through my heartt... sakit banget rasanya... yah gimana ga sakit... roomate gue, yang tiap hari liat gue streess"an ngerjaain tugas mulu Or he doesnt know idont care but ketika dia bilang si galon berjuang keras banget itu saya rasanya.... terdiam. . . . . . . rasanya seluruh arus dalam tubuh ku itu berhenti sejenak.. gue rasanya tidak berguna banget. gue rasanya bagaikan kacang kering yang semakin mengering dibwah cahaya terang lampu di atas meja. yah kenapa enggak. soalnya saya itu merasa saya udah berjuaang bangett, gila gila an, dan smua itu hanya buat dapat mengejar ketertinggalan saya, hanya buat saya hampir bisa berada di satu garis dengan temen temen kelas. not in da top.. yah juga bukan guenya yg so ambitious, yang bisa gila gila mau buat yg terbgu. yang sebagus"an giaman gitu. yah karena gue juga orangnya ga gila amet yh, ngorbanin kesehatan buat nilai bagus hahahaa... gue sih biasa aja.. malahan puas bahkan karena gue uda ga sebodoh semester kemaren hahahaa... but after all.. ketika mendengar sepatah kata yg dilontarkan danjo tsb, saya merasa tertusuk tusuk wkwkwkwkkwkkwk..
Ohiya ada lagi... just karena itu sigalon mau rayain dia dapat beasiswa gituuu.... jadi dia ajak gue dan si artis furen buat keluar. toh kita juga uda lama ga keluar bareng soalnya masing" tugasnya sibuk tujuh delapan keliling. wkwkwk.. and you know whattt.. ketika kita udah pada siap" untuk keluar, kebetulan kita bertiga sedang kosong malam ini. tiba tibaaa.... eh tiba tiba ckckck si artis tiba tiba bilang dia ga jadi keluar... what?? okelah yah kalo emang ga bisa.. but oh but alsannya itu kalo dia mau nyuci baju.. #tweplak! yaelahh.. tinggalin ato gimana aja kek.. kan pake mesin.. pake acara tar bajunya bau anjing lahh... takut sempaknya dipegang orang lah.. keranjang baju jadi ring basket lah apalah itu.. ngakak ga sih?? enggak yah?? wkwkwkwkk yah mau gimana juga yah.. namanya juga artis yah gitu dehh.. bedaa mahh bedahhh... #artismahorangnyabegitu agak high high gmna gtu.. kek habis nge-bar minum 5 gentong bir trus muntah muntah then fly high up to the sky deh.. jadi bidadari cantik.. hmmm... dan sekarang dia cuma read terus chat gue.. okay finee... bakat artis makin muncul udah kalo lagi galau.. oke fineee #artismahbegituorangnya wwkwkwkwkwkwkk #nooffenceyah artis.. jangan karena w tulis gini, u gugat w pake 10 pengacara bilang pencemaran nama baik gimana gitu.. tar gue kan jadi terkenal.. gimana dong lol oke BAY!
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