HA dunno what to do anymore

i can’t really understand myself.. zzz how can i keep getting stress whenever i’m thinking of model-making aarrrggghhh and on top of it, it isn’t any normal stress ypu could get from exceeding homework or whatever. it’s the kind of stress u get from everything zzz... to put it simple yet exaggerate abit, it is kind of chronic severe kind of stress in addition of mass amount of deppresion, loneliness and GaLaUness. haaahhh.. what should i do to overcome this feeling. Is changing my major, excaping from architecture hell, will do? hufftt i need a lot of meditation. maybe i will do it everytime on my winter break. it’s gonna be a hark winter break. yeah.. even i have class and no holiday in christmas. -_-.. i really want to get away from this major but i don’t know where should i change into. .___.
anyway i still have 4 model to finish and i spent my whole day in Galau-ing and manahe to do 0 progress. arrrgghh whatever... all i need to do is just survive until next year right? if just doing things is more easy than talking. =="

-some text is missing-

:(((.. when i looked back at my previous few posts, it seemed so chaotic
, i wrote it in a black off condition. if you ever asked me how is my condition now, nope.. i’m still very depressed.. or even worse yeaahh... to make it worsen.. i can’t find the wood material for my model. yes i do find the shop but it is closed on weekend, lucky me, and i need to throw the model into the teacher’s face on sunday. zzzz i get really down, sitting alone like crazy, mumbling nonsense, my face is even scarier than hulk, paler than vampire, and all my work left undone. if you put it in three words "i give up". you know, i just can continue all of this "things" any more (at least for this weeks) i don’t even try to imagine the next few weeks until final presentation it is just too hard for me, it’s cool i managed all of this until this week, i kept struggling, going up and down, tried everything by MYself, and passed all of the hell-ist weeks. but for this case, it is just too much for me, i can’t find the right material, i never had history in carpentering, i don’t know how to make my model to stand firm, since it is 2,2 meter high and according to my ability which i know the best, i can’t do it. i need someone who can stay by myside, no no no.. literally someone who can help me doing all of this things or maybe encourage me. not to give up, etc. it is really essential as of me right now. it will mean a whole world. the only solution i can come up with is just skipping the tuesday class by faking a sick. huff, but still it is an important class so i still need to submit it later. but it is better, although all of my works now has been abandoned, nothing has been progressing since the day before yesterday. i don’t have any thought and mood to do that right now. all i want is to let go all of this things, but my bad, due to my personality i can abandoned my homework but keep thinking in regret every seconds in my mind. so i cant really leave it.. shit.. my nature is so something. and i am also the type that is putting alot of thought into something, so there is no days for me to calm as long as i still have homework. especially the model making, i’m hating it. just why from so many place in the world must taiwan be a country that specially divided the high school into a specific-taught highschool. i mean they focusing on one major in preparation for the college. hmmm._. so the university claimed that all of the student already know the basic and they didn’t start from the basic anymore.. hufft -_- even my friend that is majoring architecture in a well-known university in the state wasn’t as hard as this. they haven’t dealt with all this model making stuff. all they had is learning the architecture basic and theory. that’s all. pretty damn nice right. they dealt with model making in second year, when you’ve already adapting to the environment and making a hell of friends. and the most crucial one, you are in the same level with your classmate. in my cases it is so so so unbalanced and unfair. we had alot of difference by skill technique and experience, so that what makes me inferior. ;( it is so sadd.. do you understand my situation?? maybe not.. except you have ever experienced it by yourself. even i’m confused by my own confussion. since it is this hard, just why i kept wanting my roomate to understand my situation. yeah.. we are all indonesian but they three are in the same major. ckckck... their major is just so nice that make me envy everytime i looked at them. yeahh they did know i’m stress. but all they know is just i have a hell of homework and lack of sleep. they dont know the hardship i have encounter all from the first day of my achitecture class. and the one that make my blood forcefully pumped to my brain is their saying i’m so happy for not having any exam, you just need to do some physical endurance, not having to use your brain so hard unlike us. grrrrrrr!! helloooo.... who says architect dont need to think?! who says it is easy?!! who says we don’t need to use our brain a lot??!! we do need to think alot ! it is not easy ! ==" even it is far harder than your major ! -_- iam not saying this merely based on emotional thinking, yeah! i do get irritated by you guys, but iam saying this since my high school is not just an ordinary high school (or i just bragging it) but it is far better than your high school. so i can clearly say that your first year is still easy, it is just reminding you of your high school lessons! andd architecture give me stress far alot than i got back when iam having exam in high school. it is far far far harder. you need to press your brain even harder than while you are studying for your final ! keep that in mind ! just don’t annoyed me with that crap anymore. i am getting all sensitive since i lack of sleep and in foul mood every day! so please don’t mess up with me ! ==". No Offense !!
i know architecture is hard, and adding my nature into it, it’s getting far harder zzzzz... i always thinking of changing my major but it is hasn’t been in a goog thought. i don’t have time to clearly think about it. surviving is the most important part now. i don’t think i can survive my first year like this zzz i need to change! maybe some meditation during winter break zzz... my senior from last year was also given up in architecture. yeah mostly got the same problem! and we are both male! so maybe this can be called "male’s problem" hah?! i have one other senior that is surviving in the third year, iam quite admiring her, because she can survive until this far. but the observation so far is maybe she is a GIRL! i thinks that hit right in the place. because people tend to pay more attention to a girl, especially if you have quite a beauty and it will drive you into having alot of friends. and having alot of friends mean having a lot of motivation! maybe that’s what making her so strong. huh... but yeah.. i will keep going for it for a while and give a better thought. i really want to not thinking too much since it will just a waste of time and can drive you crazy. anyway good luck for everybody out there. may you can solve your own problem in a good ways hahahaa

T.T

t.t huaaaaa... there’s no calm week.. i’m turning crazy hikzz.. it is so shitty shitty shit ! yeah i need to do a full scale model yang kagak jelas . about 2.2 meter high so crazy aihhh aihhhh and i dont know where to buy the material.. i must use wood! i dont have friend and when i went to studio most of them have buy it! i’m in MRT right now wandering the city with no destination. i felt -some text is missing-

MY WORST TIME IN LIFE

oh god... help me please!! iam really stuck now... arrrggggghhhhhhhhhh....... getting all depresed every day is so so so hardd... i don’t know what to d with my architecture school.. it’s just too hard for mee.. huaaaaa nooooo!!!! i’m going crazyyy.... s*it! i don’t know where to star because i have never said it in my blog. i don’t know what to to with my super cracy hellist homework!! it is just too hard for me.. imagined getting all stress about hwork every day, hust how hard it is for me to being all like this. *i really feel like to slam everything beside me right now! i always thinking of give up and let go of this architecture! but... nomatter how i can’t find the give up option. i hope i can just find it in the toolbar and click it! as you know i"m the most stupid student in the class in term of architecture. all of my class mates already 3  years ahead of me since theor high school is all focusing on architecture lesson. and me?! all i know is just the perspective shit and other so not important things that i learnt from the so called art class back in my high school. and here i am. sitting like an idiot in a class. don’t understand what they are talking about. not only because i"m fallen back 3 years from them, but also my chinese is so bad! arrgghhh... i still remember the first architecture class.. i brings me alot of trauma. t.t we need to draw 42 drawings and making 3 models for next week.. and without the teaching of the teacher.. i was just like "shitt.. what am i going to do! i even don’t now what a model is! grrrr.... i spent my day like i was living in hell for a week. and we also need to present our design in front of the class everything you did! it"s so shityy!! regardless of my bad chinese, i need to present my "only know about 1 week" model, yeah it’s so so ugly! and all of my friends’ is like god-made! == i’m so down on the place and until now i’m not making any significant progress and need to face all of this pressure every week. fyi i dont have friend here, so all i do wall doing everything alone, trying to understand what is right and wrong and improving slowly by making my routine mistakes! i don’t know how to say! the pressure is just too greatt!! it’s like you need to pose nude.in front of the class every week. haiihhhh... i just cant imagine this all will he this hard. at first i think that i will like architecture so much, because i like drawing and now! because of all this shtiiy things and the hell amount of home work that make me need to do homework over time, i began hating drawing! give me back my free time!!! arrrggghhhhh... i’m so confusedd lonely mad angry at the same time. T.T i wanna cry but i can’t.. mamaaaaa!!!! huaaaaaa what should i doooo now! i don’t even understand the topic for next week.. i really don’t understand it this time.. huhuhuu... i really want to skip the class.. because it will just embarassed my self by showing there with my strrange design...ahhhhh.... why it turn out like thisss... what should i do nowww..... SHITTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!##### even just one good friend can make me betterr... i’m like surviving in the middle of alien.. i cant stand it!!! it’s like i’m the most struggling one in the class.. every body is just like happy go well every day.. and i was like bringing my dark cloud every where i go..actually i don’t really hope fpr a friend because i think ot os just too much, but at least people can pay attention to me and help me. they just dont know how hard i feel because they are still in their cage. they have never experience how it feels to go out of your cage and go into others cage. .____.
I AM SO LONELY!!

Back to december

wuahh... my favourite month of the year finally come. December... why do i like it so much? yeah, since i was small i really like christmas, so everytime december arrived, the touch of christmas always comes to me haha.. i don’t know why but i feel that christmas could bring a warm feeling to me. that’s why i like it. i love the atmosphere so much. and this time is my first christmas outside indonesia. in here i could feel the deeper feeling of christmas, maybe because of winter hahaha although i would love if it will snow. these past few months were really hard for me. because i’m still in the state of adaptation. since i’m still not feel like i’m one of them. i felt really small here, like a tiniest drop of water that people would not bother to care. yes indeed i’m so lonely! although my roomies is also indonesian but... but... there were so many reason that made me in this state. right now i’m stuck in a position which i can’t do much about it. all i can’t think right now is just surviving while finding a possible way for me to enjoy all of this things. all i can do is improving and narrowing all the existing gap between me and classmate . so i hope, in this lovely month, as well as the last month that will bring this year to an ending, i can fill it with a happy memory, no more sad and lonely feeling. so that i could make the best december as weel as winter for me :) gogogogo...
never give up fedrik!
you can do it!
although it’s hard but you must able to do it.
remember.. you whom write this post right now is the one that just overcome the obstacle of the day.
so you can do it!
the storm will pass and sunshine will shine brightly again.. so keep you head up! face your world! enjoy it! cheer up!

Drops of Memory --Part 1--

tak terasa 6 bulan telah berlalu sejak meninggalkan tanah air hahaha..many things happened yea.. banyak hal hal baru yang gue alami, hal yang tidak pernah gue alami sebelumnya, baik itu hal yang baik maupun yang buruk. 6 bulan ini gue banyak mengalami tanjakan" dalam kehidupan. ringtangan dan tantangan yang terkadang sangat berat dan membuat gue hampir menyerah. *but i survived* Tapi 6 bulan ini membuat saya sadar bahwa saya masih memiliki banyak hal yang saya tidak ketahui. saya masih belum matang dalam menghadapi segala sesuatu, membuat saya sadar mana yang benar dan mana yang salah. 6 bulan ini menyadarkan gue bahwa hal hal yang selama ini gue lalui hanyalah sebongkah kecil tantangan dalam kehidupan yang tidak ada apa apanya. tapi, berkat 6 bulan inilah, mata saya menjadi terbuka lebih lebar, pandangan saya bertambah luas, dan membuat gue makin dewasa dalam masalah kehidupan. just like said, let the experience become your teacher. time will keep flowing forward, the past will become memory while tomorrow remains a mystery. you get new acquitances, and starting to lose ur old friends. people come and go, and nothing’s gonna stay the same. and we all aware of that!! talking of this stuffs remind me of the "yin fu ban" moments, the moments we spend together for two months, from when we still feel soo "alien" to this whole new country. this moment turn everyone of us from nothing into everything. like giving all the nutrients to grow and let us have a strong roots to grow higher and higher. this moments gives us the feeling of togetherness and warmness, it is just like we are all one family. living on the same roof and having the same kind of activity everyday. Before, i think of it as the things that will only appear on the movies. but it do happen in my life, and iam so grateful for it. ahh~ i missed those momento~  yep i promised you before that i will write about my moments in "yinfuban" and sorry to tell you that because of my college i can’t find a time to write it. i even don’t have time to think of it. yin fu ban moments are the best best moments that i ever experienced in my life. so many moments happened in these two monthss that can’t be described in one post. hahaa.
maybe i will divided it into a few post hehehe... oke lets startoo---

now let’s us go back to the time when i was going to leave indonesia *brooommmm* *time machine sound* i don’t even know whether time machine emits sounds or not and sorry to tell u time machine  doesn’t even existt or... hasn’t (?) ? hahahahahahaa but i do believe in this time paradox stuffs jiakakaka! cut this crap out! or i’ll spend forever in writing this post hahaha

                      -26th june 2014-
       Kuala Namu International Airport

today, my very first time to leave indonesia all by myself. i dont know why but maybe today’s just not my day or maybe that i’m too nervous or minding too much of the every little crap. But the bad luck was happening into things one by one. i can’t sleep the night before, and i think it was just normal to get nervous the day before you left your family. in the dawn on 5 A.M me, mom, dad and bro went to the airport together. sis cant go because of the situation, but she did sent me off via phone. when arrived at the airport, the big yellow crowd has been gathered there. yeah we were asked to be in yellow so that we will recognize our own people easily. there were so many people that i don’t imagine they’ll be so much people going to taiwan together from medan. it is about 55 peoples will fight together in taiwan. beforehand we’ve been divided into the group of ten, so i was stucked into a group that consisted of only 2 men. sadly, the only men, which i believed could be my first step to get friends kept disappearing from our group, and it failed my plan *TAPP.. sound of the failed sign being stamped hard to my face* since the girls in my group has known each other so they keep stuck together, like nothin in the world can seperate their bond. now let’s move to the girl boss which is also my group’s leader. The girl that was known as the savior in luo lao shi tuition since she was one of the best reader and our trump card to ease the teacher’s temper. her reading skill is just exeptional. it is the typical tone that can let your heart rest in peace in the deepest place you can find for good. lololol... too god.. at first the only thought that passed in my mind about her is she has a big lips wkwkwk... *i think that has nothing to do with the reading* omg.. stop this bad habit of mine wkkwkwk.. i wonder if can she gulp the mic when she sings a high pitch tone XXD.. gyaaaa~ So, the conclusion is my group is made of all strange people *include me*. but fortunately i have my high school classmate with me in the group. titiannnn... since she is the only one i know from so many people out there. then, we are just gathered in group with our family beside also, and getting ready, waiting for all the preparation to be ok. everybody was having their last chat with their family before the leave. but at this time, i dunno what should i talk about with my family, since we are not an alay baley family, so we skipped the histeric and essentric part. i also forget to take a family picture and neither did my family hmmm... the only think i can remember is i let myself observing every scene in the gathering hall. trying to scan out people that i think i can make a friend with. looking at how they hugged their family so tight till the very last moment. seeing how our teacher managed all of our flight preparation since they are not going to send us to taiwan. we just went there together, without any guide, the only thing we gave were the people that will fetch we up at taiwan’s airport. i took my time observing everything and before i know it the time has come for us to check in huhuhu.. everybody started to part with their family, with sad expression, as if you just took away the favourite doll from a five years child. i also remember there were so many people cried at the time. but not with my family hahaa.. they sent me with a smile and an aggresive wave, and iam also smile back to them, happily. but also a lil bit sad since i wont be seeing them for quite a time. we went through the security check and entered the only passengers area but when i looked back, i was startled with a bizzare view.. it moved my heart at once, it was so beautiful, there were hundreds of hands, waving in harmonic from the second floor balcony which was still accesable for the non passengers, indeed, they were from our families’ it was like we are having alot of fans, sending us off happiliy. we all wave back to them and progressing to the place that was completely seperated. maybe the word seperated is not too suitable. but i dont care cause i started to feel hungry though that time, i only got some cereal at dawn since i cant consume much food in the early of the morning. so i decided to have a food in kuala lumpur since we were going to transit there for "three hours".

                     1 hours of flight
Medan====================KLumpur

i placed my tired self on one of the seat of the air plane after running vigorously chasing after the plane tight schedule. we all run like crazy through the long hall way heading towards the plane. i wonder why must they make this so long and complicated hallway just to make a path towards the airplane. it will just make more people missed the plane. 煩啦 (spell fan la) which mean ma huan si lah in hokkien hahaaa.. As usual, i scanned through the row of seats inside the airplane and realised that Air asia plane was so small.. there was only 6 seats in one row which was divided to 3 at the left and right. i sat at the first seat which was connected to the small hallway of the plane. And at that time i realised that the one that sat beside me was also medanese. he was from binjai precisely. Practically we were in the same tutor back in senior high but we never share a talk. and the same went between us for the next 1 hour of flight. we only said hi and i asked him whether he had had his breakfast yet. After that, a moment of awkwardness continued. The next sound i heard was the "Landing soon In Kuala lumpur international Airport" announcement. I took my belonging quickly and alight the plane. I went to where the girls were, whose were my groups. then we went to the international transfer area for transitting. suckly, the scanning system in Malay was too annoying and my scanning process was not going smoothly. First, they urged me to take off all my acceccories, but that not the main point, the most annoying part was they said I’ve got sharp appliance inside my hand carry and urge me to opened it. I struggled on unlocking my tons of locks of my handcarry -thanks to my dad- and started to unload my handcarry. The first thing out of it was a pack of tissue paper, continued with another pack of tissue and then another pack of tissue *again* till the loads inside my handcarry decreased by half. OMG iam so embarrased by it. not only all of my group were looking at me but also the other foreigner behind me. fortunately the next thing wasnt tissue anymore but two bottle of Sambal ABC yayy._. when the airport people saw it, they took them away from me huaaaa my treasuree, they said of it being exceed 250ml wthell ckckckk... i also unload a chinese dictionary then. i remember the foreigner behind me took my dict for a look and asked me in japanese whether it was a japanese dict or not. reflectly i answer them in japanese and said that it was chinese. lol i was distracted enough by the airport keeper and thanks to it the whole table was full with my stuff. Finally, the seed of the chaos has been discovered. do you know what it is that made me endure all of this occasion ha?!  and it was "JANGKA". congratulation to you jangka. You were the spotlight today *plok*plok*plok i could see all of my friends laughing at me mainly because of my piled up tissue papers._. i misplaced my jangka from my luggage to my hand carry, in case of that my jangka lost it needle "they just took away the needle" omg it’s not like i was going to terror the whole plane just with jangka alone. i would need a greater weapon in that case. ckckck.. after that i loaded my stuff again inside the bag together with the overloaded amount of embarassment that has been weighing my red cheek for quite a while. then we managed to enter the transfer area in the end. huff..OMG it was so tiring. needed to unpacked your belonging in public was not a joke haha._. Thanks to me my group has been left a far from the other groups. when we arrived at the waiting room, there isnt any single group waiting there. maybe they were wandering around the airport since we’ll have a transit for three hours *i hoped this is true* once again i sat there, and checking whether i didnt lost any of my stuff. i struggled with the wifi then and managed to connect in the end. I still have about 2 hours and 25 mins left so i decided to find some food since my stomach cant tolerate it anymore. i asked the other whether they want to go together or not. but nobody wanted so i decided to go alone and left my stuff in their care. i walked along the very long hallway to find some food stall or something. but all i could see was just waiting room and waiting room nothing else zzz.. suddenly after a long of searching i found myself having a stomach ache and need to go to rest room immediately. when i was inside the restroom *no need to explain the detail lol* my phone was vibrating inside my pocket. the pic in the screen indicating i was having a line call from titian which reminded me i can already use the wifi. not long another call entered and i answer it immediately. i was just away from them about 10 minutes, just what they want hahaha.. maybe they want to asked me to buy some food from them (?) but when i heard titian voice, i realised things was not as simple as that. merely it was more like a nightmare. after i heard it, quickly i rushed toward the waiting room. i was running like crazy back towards the long hallway. every scene beside me has turned blur thanks to my fast speed. my body heat started to produce sweat which made thing even more dramatic. i would lost my breath not long after i arrived at our waiting room. i scanned through the room to find my friends, *wiping all of my sweats, posing half standing and gasping like someone who has just being pressed out of roller coaster, at that time, for the first time in forever, i felt like an actor shooting an mv, in foreign country. loll! heyy!! this is not the time for this* But it was empty already as well as all my belongings. there was no one in the room anymore. it was just everybody has left the room. i rushed toward the service and asked about my flight. whatt??!!! they said that my flight was going to board soon. i need to be fast or else i will be late. there was no time to be thinking anymore. there was no time to choose out any logical theory to explain all of this situation. All i know now is rushing toward the plane quickly. and yeah, i am having a second round. another out-of-breath happened to me as i arrived right in front of the airplane door. it was by the time they are going to close the door.. just OMG i barely made it. a second later means good bye to taiwan. i gasping hardly as i looked face to face with the pilot in front of me and give him the *mission accomplished* look. acting cool and walking elegantly into the plane hahaha... i dont care about my look anymore. i bet i must look more or less like some crazy begging for life. or some lady whom has just been in super hair-pulling fight. but none of that matter to me anymore. as i was inside the airplane right now, i was safe, i was not late for my flight, my friends belonging was safe too and more importantly has my hot seat waiting for me releashing all of the tiredness since morning, with the welcoming atmospher. i wish to make my another 4 hours of flight an extraordinary one. i hope :))

--------------to be continued------------

I’M LEGAL！

hahahahahaaa.. finally i’m legal now... this is my first time turning the new pages far away from hometown. at first, i thought that this will become a cold and lonely birthday, but thanks to TITIKS i had a blast!!! FYI TITIK is a 9 members group that was formed in taipei about 4 months ago. we spent our time together, going to a new place, exploring the taipei city until we got seperated to our own university. although we got seperated from eac n other, but we still have the strong bond that keep us together. hehe so TITIK’S, once again thanks to all of you for making my day into a lovely one. hahahaa.. although we only communicated via oovoo but i can feel the closeness between us hahahaa...
i hope in my 18 birthday i can become  stronger and wiser. decrease the amount of galau and pessimism. i hope that i can stay postive and love my architecture school and then can survive until i get my own architecture title. wish me luck! and wish me can love architecture even more!! :D  明天會更好！加油！

My Return!! :)

waahhhh.... I"M BACK!!!!! lol 好久不見!

HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING THESE DAYS??

Apa kabare arek arekk.. lol ( i learnt this from my surabaya friends, hope i write this right)

Finally... setelah sekian lama gue tidak membuka dan meng-update blog ini, it feels like... something missing has been placed back to it's original place.. hahahaaa....

buat loe ni yg belum tau dan buat loe yg udah tau kuberitahu lagi deh.. gue sekarang nih lagi berdiam di taiwan buat melanjutkan kuliah.. *eseh.. jadi orang taiwan jadi jadian* hahahahaa

dan gue senang banget that i got admitted at National Taiwan University of Science and Technology (NTUST) di department of architecture.. 

yahh... banyak hal baru yang terjadi didalam kehidupan gue selama di taiwan.. mulai dari lingkungan yang totally different with indonesia, wkwkwk.. lifestyle baru, teman dari berbagai manca negara, dll...

gue pengen banget buat menulis pengalaman gue selama di taiwan yang lumayan cukup banyakk sekalii... but not today.. hhahaha because it's already 2 A.M here.. and i hope that i'm not lost in words when i'm trying to my experience.. So maybe sekian buat hari ni.. dan gue merasa tulisan gue menjadi aneh karena gue pertama kalinya menulis dengan indonesia.. lol belum lagi dengan mandarin.. but let's not talk about it yea.. my mandarin level hasn't get to that extent.. XD

Countdown

Woohooooo................

3 more days and i'm going to leave this beloved country, gonna miss u yea.. :D what i mean is the one inside the country ahahahaa... my family, my friends, and of course the FOOD.. I love indonesian food so much :9 especially "RENDANG, SATE PADANG, SAMBAL TERI, CENDOL" wkwkwkk...
arrghh... can't imagine that i'm going restrain myself from eating this food T.T as i'm going to stay at taiwan to continue my study.. btw finally.. after thinking my head out, banging my head at my guitar urrgh.. felt like wanna explode like some pierced watermelon you'll often see at "summer beach games" in japan. i'm going for architecture :) *sound effect like which when you've unlocked a new level in games* i hope that i made the right choice, wish me luck!! hehehe...

anyway, before leaving this country, i and my friends decided to hang-out one more time. because most of them didn't want to catch a movie, so we went to Sun plaza instead of CP.. i also invited ted along with us (most of us were from "forever troublemaker" + aphen, X-rays, mesly, and a questioner), because he was my "two years tablemate" yea.. he is a moody binjai-yers guy, who likes to sing, curhatan, ngapputo ga jelas hahaha ahh.. i miss that times :)

on the appointed day, after arrived from binjai, he went straight to my home first, since my home is near the train station. *skipped the details of what we're doing in my house* :p. after that we grab a pedicab lol and went to sun.
we went there one hour earlier (11am) because he said he wanna have a date with me alone *hoekk* joke wahahaha.. as we had nothing to do to, so we patrolled the plaza from the lowest to the highest ground, we stole the security duty ha.. after walking for about one hour we finally docked at Gramedia, the appointed place.

one hour has passed . . . . . . . .

haizz... just when are they going to arrive.. they sure took their time.. i wonder if there will be enough for them even if they got all the time in the world.. Zzzz..
after waiting for a lil bit more, the office girl made her first appearance, just wut.. i know she had worked already and now she turned into a whole office girl ( not a janitor, just some one worked in an office) wkwkwkk... after that hariyo got in second, then questioner, and last for the lunch members Lisa.. hahaha.. the other are going to be super late Zzz..

after thinking for a while, finally we threw ourself  at some seat of coffee crowd, we ate, we jumped we dance, and finally bibi gaul, aphen, x-rays and mesly arrived. we went to amazon next (jin and albania arrived), after not playing here for a decade and i came here again. it was my first time playing pump, and it sucks. i got beaten easily by bibi gaul.. but it so addicting, i can't stop playing it, the more i can't play it, the more i wanted to learn it.. hahahaa...
we moved to played another games.. and guess what.. we, i and mesly, played a strange-looking drum machine and teng... teng... hahaha doraemon song suddenly came out.. and we have no idea how to played it. after circling amazon we finally find a proper looking drum machine, and we *again* me n mesly played it again, and just what the... with the song.. it were all an old chinese song wakakkaka... so we had to choose it, *the song played* it was soo soo soo funny.. it was the kind of song which the drunken-old hag will sing while walking at the dawn empty street.. hahahahaa... so crazyy...

times past so fast, and it was already 4pm, we decided to clear our throat at presso tea, hahahaha.-. i was not recommended, just like some child-made drink by mixing her coloring pastel into water shishishi... ofc i wasn't into that extent..
we also went to hypermart because mesly said she want to do some groceries wkwkwkwk, after that we slowly take our time and walked down to first floor. it's already 6pm and i still need to go to cp to watch movies with my aunt hahaha... so we parted in front of timezone..

it's a really funny and interesting day.. i'm glad to know all of you.. hope we can gather again like this in the future.. :))

anyway.. sorry for the non-proper written stories.. hehehe.. i'm writing this in a sleepy mode and in a hurry.. wkwkwk... i got scolded by staying up late..
emm.. one more i'm going to say that i'll be inactive for a while because i need to study for my university entry.. hahaha... but also maybe i'll get so much things to share cause of the new environment hehehe..

here's is some picture we took XD

wkwkwkwk..

geng motor (?)

a lil selfie maybe :D

kebelasan XD ready for brazil

                                                                1 org 1 stick wkwkwk

                                                 this is the proper-looking drum machine lol

btw ted is missing cause he has went home after amazon.. huaaa...
fyi: i'm the one in orange :)

How will you feel??

Have u ever ate alone in the middle of the crowd, all by yourself, when everybody around you is having their food with their beloved one, with friends,or family?? if you're in that condition, how will you feel? will you feel lonely? intimidated? excited(?)? or maybe feel like the dumbest person ever-exist?? hahaa

well, i did go through that situation, on the day when i supposed to go to tuition, i went straight to the mall instead, haha why?? i may not the type of a slacker "maybe a lil yea" lol but because of the bus i rode stuck in a traffic, i became late for tuition and.. since my tuition's teacher is a killer-bee, i can't find my gut where ever i searched for it to go to the tuition at that time. but that's not the only reason, it's also because most people in my tuition are still a stranger to me.. i just can't use 5cm make-up for covering my face to defend against all those sharp yet intimidating eyes when the teacher scold me, it won't stand a chance, but it's worth trying.. maybe next time wkwkwk

when i arrived at the mall, i find myself craving for waffle so i decided to have some at fountain, it was so crowded that time, luckily i'm the only single person and wth, i want to get a seat at the corner where i can turn invincible but... the only available seat is on the middle OMG WHY??

finally i ordered waffle and an ice cream, when i waited for the food, i decided to draw my attention to my cellphone to avoid the uneasy feeling of being alone in the middle of crowd, *never forget to add "in the middle of the crowd" word*, haha that's when i realized my cellphone has gone low-bat, i must not mess with it anymore unless i want to pass the night at the mall. and my time of being a crazy person started here, i looked-through at my surrounding and changed a look with others so frequent made me felt like being stared by them. it's like the waiting is gonna last forever haih.., and when the food came, another surprise came to me.. i'm just too good at choosing food that the topping on my waffle is the same as my ice-cream.. Zzzz.. i struggled a lot with the food, and at last i can't finish the ice cream. i think if i continue to eat it, i'm going to throw-up.. it's yuck..

Haiz.. i think the others will see me as a crazy or a guy that has just being dumped by her girlfriend lol and as for relieving his stress, he ordered and ate that kind of dish all by himself, in the middle of the crowd,*again*  haha, while throwing-out his memories with her as the food slowly entered his mouth.. hahahaha.... ohyea and then leaving up a little left-over hoping that the girl heart will melt like the ice and come back to him again.. and they live happily ever after..  my imagination has gone wild wwkwkwk..

Best friend

Helloo... how're u guys doing these day?? :) great?? i hope so Ohohohoo

UN has over yeah.. and that officially ended my journey as a highschool-er *at least until i get the graduation certificate* wish me luck :D

after this we're all going to our own path, doing our best to become a real person hahaha
Ofc it must be hard for all of us to gathered altogether again because we'll be all spreading around the world,
from Asia to America, excluding africa XD we don't want to be a negro or sth like that right.. and ohyeah antartica there won't be any school floating on the ice hahaha this isn't avatar yea


like one of my friend,Mrs.potato head, who's the first to university. many of her bestfriend made her a farewell party and felt sad for her leaving. Anyway Good luck for your study and wish u'll become a successful person hehe..

speaking of best friend, i never really have one :(, i always trying to but idk how.. telling the truth i'm not really good at making friend, that's why i always so envy with those who can easily getting close to others
am i an arrogant yet selfish person?? i don't think so. the shy one?? maybe yes maybe not. if i'm not shy then maybe i can easily SKSD with others heh..? i have always trying n trying since small and i'm getting better but still hasn't got to that extent. back when i'm in elementary i had many friends but none of them i really close to, i was just a mere playing friend to them, i'm kind of lonely u know.. my only childhood friends was computer n comics since my siblings has grew up, we have quite a gap in our age. and they have their own friends to play with. but later i joined a local temple, there i got so many playing friends and sank into the activities, i didn't care about the "bestfriend" thing anymore..  in junior i only have a few friends because most of them seemed like had the same hobby but differ with mine, which made me hard getting close with them..

that's why i really love my highschool times cos i have many friends with me now hohoho, and i'm so grateful i got into here ;).
sutomoo you're the best... i love u ahahaha...

The Sudden Emergence

Helloo..

i have good news. our school's day has been extended yay.. due to the late-come UN card from the governor yeah.. actually i wrote this the day before yesterday but just got the time to post it

things are getting emotional in our class. if you're the fans of k-drama you may like our class haha.. we have from happy to sad stories here. Interested?? :D 

yeah, so many things happened in this couple days, various unexpected couples emerged one by one in the class, so aggressive ha.. everybodeh is showing their card. just like somebody forcefully split the earth and come out of it *with bloody hand first* nonsense HA. okay let me start with the happy one first. eseh

i kinda surprised about the day&food couple! when day told me about how he picked up line with food i just like HAH? seriously? you're not kidding right? jaw-dropped hahaha but i think they'll will be a nice couple. long last for u guys ya.. :)

next one which is more surprising is the confession of x-rays. he out of the blue confessed his feeling to jiji 

he may sound like playing but this time he was serious. knowing this, made me felt concerned to shi fu. i known from the start that she liked him but she never got the chance to. she just kept it inside her and hoped the man realized.. haizz.. just imagined, happened to experience this kind of PHP-ing things for three times is no joke right? it must hurt a lot. i'm sure she'll cry a liter of tears in her room :( be strong ya hahaa.. but when the time has come you'll surely get the one who really best for u. remember that. Hehe..

hahaa.. talking about liking, love bla".. *i felt like a radio announcer* wkwwk

ofc i have someone i like.. but yah.. i just don't know how to expressed it. such a coward hah.. but as you know.. i just haven't get the one thing called responsibility. maybe that's what made me holding back. hoho i'm still waiting for the right time. 

am i making a right decision? who knows?

   

Hohoho ;D

tomorrow is the last day of school
this last day doesn't mean we're not going to school anymore
instead it's our last day of studying together, sitting in the same classroom together, listening n scolded
 by teacher, talking to each other, cheering n joying together
playing together, do crazy thing together, etc. haha i must have missed this alot in the future ;)

fiuh.. time flies.. in a blink of eye 3 years has passed by
it takes me back to three years ago.. when i first entered this school, alone, walking around the school, hearing
the sound of the old bell, know nobody at school, the feeling's still so clear in my mind. even now whenever i've got
to hear that bell sound i'll remember this scene.. so memorable haha...
although i just been in this school for 3 years but it means a lot to me, i had a great time here :)
i got to know a lot of friends, experienced so many things i haven't before, learnt many things about life, aahh..
it just can't be described by words + yah.. my skill of writing wohoho...
thanks for all the time u guys spent together with me, thanks for befriending me, thanks for everythingg..
i won't forget the moments we shared together in this school :D

Dilemma

ARRGGHHHH........................................................................

i'm totally confused!!
feel like wanna bump my head against the door Zzz...
as i said in my previous post that i wanted to go for architecture, but still i felt something is odd
yeah, the good news is i've finally found that "odd" thing
actually i like interior design more than architecture. in a glimpse this two mayor has a similarity. *maybe that's why i got confused* hadehh
i've sought for many information from friends and seniors. but 99% of them said that i'd better take architecture instead of interior. the reason is in architecture, we'll also learn the basic about interior and if you want to improve it you can just take a course outside and you may also designing interior for people like some common interior designer (then what's the point of interior design mayor when architect can do the share)???
one side i like interior design but on the other side i seem can't let it go
Hmmm.........
like what pepi ted said in one of his essay *esehh* choice is hard to make.
so which one is better choose @.@ which one??!! zssssssshhh.............